The most prolific period of pessimism comes at twenty-one, or thereabouts, when the first attempt is made to translate dreams into reality.

I don’t feel good today. Not at all. My turn to get sick it hurts when I breathe. But of course I would get sick. I always get sick in New York. Been reading my old blog and picture diary and I try to remember who I was. Was that girl really me? It feels strange. Guess I will say that someday when I read this as well. I have changed; I’m not the girl I used to be. And it’s a great thing because that girl was really confused. I’m still confused but not in that way. I know who I am now. A lot of people have left my life that I thought would be there forever, but I gained friends along the way. Some I know will stay forever, and some I know will leave and it’s okay.

I’m sure I will get lost again, just wait until I’m back in school and back in the life of stress. This essay is going to kill me, but its okay. I will survive. I always do. But what I have now is myself, and a strength I never had before. I love myself and I accept myself, I know my strength and I know what I need to work on. I know I sometimes can be really immature, a bitch and just stupid. I know I want too much and I know that I need to start living in real life. I know that I change planes often, and I also know that I often during stressful times ignore my friends. Sometimes I let out to be a loner, but deep, deep inside all I want is to have friends around me. I know I can be a storyteller and when I tell a lie I feel ashamed. I also know that I take out my stress on my family, and they don’t deserve that.

But I also know I’m a good person, I’m a good friend that will always be there when they need me. I’m a good daughter even if I sometimes can be really hard to deal with. I know I’m a good sister, I know that I’m funny and that I make people laugh (even if they laugh at me). I know that I work hard to get where I am today, and I know that if I really try I can be the person I want to be.

There is so much more I know about me but really I want you guys to still like me. I’m going to work on all my bad sides, I work on it everyday. But the difference between now and then is that I accept myself even with them.

Peace and self loving (strange not-word)